10 a.m. Coffee Break: Amazon Product Reviews

It’s not news. It’s just a break in your day.


My wife discovered an amazing new product on Amazon.com. It’s the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, retailing at $2.76 today.

Banana Slicer


Here are some of the product reviews:

Angle is wrong

I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.


No more winning for you, Mr. Banana!
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I’ll call it South Side Story.

The Birth of My Children, My Wedding Day, and the Hutzler 571 Arriving at My Door
The three greatest days in my life?
The birth of my children, my wedding day, and the day the Hutzler 571b arrived at my door.
For years I’ve given in to Mother Nature’s tyranny and been forced to eat my banana in one sitting.
No more!
Now, thanks to the miracle that is the Hutzler 571b, I can slice my banana into small portions and eat a slice per day. One banana now lasts almost three weeks!

Not good on cereal
I was very disappointed with this item. The description says it is “great for cereal” but I struggled for hours trying to slice my cereal. I tried all sorts of cereals, most were too small and simply slotted through the gaps whilst others were either too hard or too crumbly. It doesn’t slice the flake type of cereal at all well and you may as well forget about “in bowl” slicing altogether. The banana shape is quite restrictive too, it’s probably only any good for slicing bananas and not cereal as the ad suggests.

Blades not sharp enough
I am very disappointed with my new “Hutzler 571.” The blades aren’t sharp enough to cut trough the banana peel. How unfortunate. You almost had a winner here.

Great Gift
Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using – it works much better. Ordering one for my nephew who’s in the air force in California. He’s been using an old slinky to slice his banana’s. He should really enjoy this product!
I gave this product only one star because I wish the instructions were a little more comprehensive.

Simply thrilling
I have long wanted to eat a banana but could never figure out how to. In researching this topic I stumbled across the Hutzler 571B banana slicer much to my delight. I have jumped straight to the advanced stage of eating a SLICED banana while having skipped entirely the apparently difficult whole-banana-at-a time phase. This amazing accomplishment has improved my outlook on the progress of technology. If a banana can be manipulated this brilliantly the future will indeed be thrilling.

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